"We are silently, literally fighting for our lives and not many understand that."
This came from a letter a friend wrote me recently and how right she is! Just when I feel like I'm making some progress, another complication arises. I'm tired. I'm weary. The pain is often more than I can bare. When will it end? If I have to live the rest of my life with this kind of pain, I'm not sure I can do it. I don't even know how I face tomorrow sometimes.
We Lymies live death every day of our lives. Our bodies are dying a slow tormenting death while we struggle and fight to live. Do I sound morbid? I'm not trying to, but this is where I'm at in my illness right now. Tired, weary, and yes a little scared.
Blowing in the Wind...
The background picture I chose for this blog is the dandelion. It reminds me of the fragility of life and the Scripture verse that says, "...the grass withers and the flower fades..." This is how I so often feel. Like a fragile flower blowing in the wind, exposed to the elements, waiting and wondering how long before I completely wither.
One of my favorite songs is Who Am I by Casting Crowns. It expresses my feelings so fully. When I saw Casting Crowns in concert and they had an autograph session following, I told Mark, "It's as if you wrote this song straight out of my heart."
I'm facing what many Lyme patients have faced for years - denial of necessary medication by my insurance company. Up until now, I've been blessed to have my meds covered. Now, I'm in need of pancreatic enzymes for Sub-acute Pancreatitis and my insurance doesn't want to pay for it. These enzymes are specific to my ailment and the only way to keep my pancreas from being destroyed, along with other vital organs. So, on to the battle field with my insurance company. I'm praying they will relent. We can't afford to pay for this medicine, nor can we afford for me to go without.
I do see some progress due to my Lyme treatment. Even having the Pancreatitis and Addison's disease, as long as I keep medicated for them, I have more energy than I once did. I'm still in the category stage 3 of Chronic Lyme, but I'm hoping with time, patience, and treatment that I will be well someday.
My boys are doing much better and for that I'm thankful! I just pray they don't relapse.
One thing is certain, this disease sure does keep my heart closer to heaven than to this life. What would I do without God? I need Him more and more with each passing day.
One of my favorite songs is Who Am I by Casting Crowns. It expresses my feelings so fully. When I saw Casting Crowns in concert and they had an autograph session following, I told Mark, "It's as if you wrote this song straight out of my heart."
I'm facing what many Lyme patients have faced for years - denial of necessary medication by my insurance company. Up until now, I've been blessed to have my meds covered. Now, I'm in need of pancreatic enzymes for Sub-acute Pancreatitis and my insurance doesn't want to pay for it. These enzymes are specific to my ailment and the only way to keep my pancreas from being destroyed, along with other vital organs. So, on to the battle field with my insurance company. I'm praying they will relent. We can't afford to pay for this medicine, nor can we afford for me to go without.
I do see some progress due to my Lyme treatment. Even having the Pancreatitis and Addison's disease, as long as I keep medicated for them, I have more energy than I once did. I'm still in the category stage 3 of Chronic Lyme, but I'm hoping with time, patience, and treatment that I will be well someday.
My boys are doing much better and for that I'm thankful! I just pray they don't relapse.
One thing is certain, this disease sure does keep my heart closer to heaven than to this life. What would I do without God? I need Him more and more with each passing day.
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