To be honest, all I want to do right now is sleep. I’ve had a week of restlessness, vague headaches, and emotional battles. I’m over-due for my Lyme check, but trying to hold out until I can get there in a few weeks. My over-all pain level has been on a gradual incline and is unbearable at times. I find myself wanting to collapse in a puddle of tears. I am blessed with a fairly high pain tolerance, so the fact that it is reaching this point is a bit overwhelming for me. When you wish to rip your insides out, cut off limbs, or decapitate yourself in order to be rid of the pain, you know it’s bad. I don’t think there is a molecule of my flesh, inside or out, that doesn’t hurt or have some sort of unhealthy sensation.
I recently took Christopher to a doctor here in South Carolina who asked about his Lyme symptoms. I laughed. “How much time are you willing to spend, doc?” I wanted to ask. We told her few of the major ones and she ignorantly said, “So nothing major.” I’ve learned not to get too worked up about it, but I wanted to say, “No. Nothing major. Not unless you have to live with it day in and day out every single day of your life without relief. How major would you consider it, then, if it were you or your child suffering?” But, I held my tongue knowing it would do no good. She’s a pediatrician/internal medicine doctor. She really needs to learn about Lyme. Maybe she’ll get curious enough to initiate her own research on the subject. Maybe she won’t wait until it is herself or her own child suffering from this debilitating disease.
Christopher is recovering from bronchitis. He’s been suffering from depression (a physiological depression which is very normal for chronically ill people) and hasn’t been as active as he needs to be. As soon as he’s well, I plan to make him more active whether he wants to be or not. But, I think he’s learned his lesson. He’s seen what being physically idle has done to him and he wants to be as healthy and strong as he is able. He is a very special young man and the Lord is teaching him a lot through this illness. I hope he continues to grow in all the ways that count.
Andrew is struggling with his neurological tics again. It tears at my heart to watch him suffer. He knows he twitches, but he can’t stop it from happening. How he manages to look past it and still feel comfortable making new friends is beyond me. I think he is much stronger in character than what I have given him credit for. I know that his music helps him cope and I plan to continue to encourage him in developing his skill.
Matthew has blossomed. He is beginning to struggle with the physical symptoms again, but his psyche has improved much over the summer. I think the break from treatment has been good for him in this way, but it’s time to get him back on it as there are physical pains and such that are starting to rear their ugly heads.
Garrison has been about the same. As long as I keep him on the Silverbiotics, he does well. He’ll have spells of extra fatigue and he’ll run a mild temperature now and then. But, as long as he’s on the Silverbiotics, he doesn’t become ill with the vomiting, diarrhea, high fevers, and near dehydration that sent him to the ER last spring. He still has the headaches from time to time, but they are not chronic like they are when he’s been off the Silverbiotics.
We have had a wonderful summer for the most part. We thoroughly enjoyed time spent at the beach. I’m ready to visit home, get our doctor appointments in, get Christopher’s braces off, stretch in our house for a while, see the flowers in my yard, get school started, return to John, and get the boys involved with a home school group – drama, guitar lessons, choir, etc. Hopefully, my writing won’t suffer from the busyness.
Thanks for caring enough to stop in and check on us. I will try to be better about updating more often. May the Lord bless and keep you in His tender care!
Sincerely,
Linnette
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