"We are silently, literally fighting for our lives and not many understand that."
This came from a letter a friend wrote me recently and how right she is! Just when I feel like I'm making some progress, another complication arises. I'm tired. I'm weary. The pain is often more than I can bare. When will it end? If I have to live the rest of my life with this kind of pain, I'm not sure I can do it. I don't even know how I face tomorrow sometimes.
We Lymies live death every day of our lives. Our bodies are dying a slow tormenting death while we struggle and fight to live. Do I sound morbid? I'm not trying to, but this is where I'm at in my illness right now. Tired, weary, and yes a little scared.
2 comments:
I can so relate to this. My children don't understand at all.I have had this for I know 10 years.It gets worse. The pain does get to be unbearable. Today it is in my head at the back and all over. This has been allnight and day. Weary, tired and so morbid is this lymie life. God gives me the power each minute. I read my bible and the Holy Spirit comforts me. I find this is my only comfort. I live alone,no insurance and not able to work. I see my neurologist every month and have $400 in meds. a month. Yes I also get scared but then Jesus is there when everyone else is tired of me. I keep my eyes on Him and all my needs are met. I am very blessed and praise my God daily. Some days death doesn't seem bad at all. I see myself before God's throne with no pain. I praise Him, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
Thanks, Mamye! It's good to know we Lymies have each other, too. Nobody can understand until they've lived it. I've had it most of my life if not my whole life. I don't know what living a pain free life looks like. When I started this blog, I meant to only keep my friends and family updated with medical updates. But, I decided that I can't always sugarcoat everything for them. And this is the only place I allow myself to indulge in my feelings and frustrations outside of my Lyme community.
I don't know how people who don't have God survive. If I didn't have Him...well, I don't know what I'd do. I'd probably be locked away in a luny bin somewhere and be content to be there. :-)
God bless and keep you! Hugs, Lyme sister!
Post a Comment